Tuesday, 20 January 2015

'Foster Carer'....thats the life for me....????

You Got to Admire People who Foster...Angels in Disquise I call them....

I'm a foster carer....( 'ahhh, blowin ye own trumpet,'  I hear u say )

Nothing could be further from he truth.... I truly wish I could claim to be that Angel in Disquise, sadly I cant....I'm referring to those carers who do it year in and year out and change 100's of childrens lives..selflessly...the ones that truly make a difference
I fell into it quite by accident, an associate of mine asked me one day if i'd like to help out with some children in care, and I suppose you could say the rest is history.
After a few indecisions and hiccups I began working for a fostering company,  It was a process that ended up taking around 6 months.
 This includes an indepth look at your life and the lives of your family and some of your friends!!!!  To be quite honest some of it was very uncomfortable and took me on  journey back to, a sometimes, very dark and unhappy place called 'childhood', which, in a strange way, convinced me to have a go at fostering.
May be I could help other children who, for whatever reason, could not remain in the place called 'home'.....sounds like a cliche i grant you.....but those 6 months prying and delving into my childhood were to be more help than i could ever have imagined......( even if at times it was a very painful and to be honest made me think I was a criminal judging on some of the questions i was asked !!! )
It was an opportunity to go back, to look at it as a grown up, to deal with it as a grown up, strange as it may seem a view from a childs eyes and the same view from an adult are words apart.
I'm not gonna try and kid people into thinking that it repairs everything and puts everything to right because it dosnt, its the past and nothing can change that, but what it can help with is, addressing it, and helping you move on from it and may be even take something of benefit with you to use in the future!!!  And may be help to understand how and why people behave the way they do, and help them move on......
So if nothing else..with the excellent training the company gave me as well, the process, I believe has made me a different person ( not better/worse, just different )  Add this to the very unique children and adults i have met, I can truthfully say its been a very special journey.
I have had several placements ranging from sibling groups to a single placement.  
All were very different and came with different behaviours, these could and were very stressful.
Take 3 very young chidren, who for what ever reason have been removed from everything they know and love, and place them in a strange place with people they have never seen before, will, undoubtedly cause fear, panic,  heartache and sadness to name but a few emotions.
Yes, over time, things get better and they adjust, which is amazing in itself that these 'little people' can come to terms with the massive upheavle that has been forced on them...( sadly not all chilren/young people adjust, some end up running away or back to God knows what )
I wander ....How many of us, as adults could cope with forcibly being removed from everything we know and love and being placed in an alien place with strangers ...with a whole new set of rules and regulations !!!!!

One such placement ( i prefer to say ' one special little baby girl ' ) was the straw that broke the camels back , as far as I was concerned.
That was over a year ago and I have to tell you that I havnt cared for another child since.
Inevitably and happily, for a lot of those little individuals they get adopted by a 'forever family'......which should, and is the perfect outcome 
but for me...it was a soul destroying moment when I had to hand over a baby, who i had foolishly fell in love with and looked on as my own, to strangers  ( never to see again ) !!!!!!!!
So you see...... I am not that Angel in Disquise
May be, one day, I will tell you about that very special little person that was lent me....to love and care for and keep safe, while a very special family was found for her...( A special and exceptionally  lucky family )  

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