feeling distraught/helpless

This happened when I had a new phone...
I hear you say....
'how can that possibly make you feel distraught' 
Its actually the consequence of moving all my information, pictures,messages etc from my old to my new phone..... simple right?

to be fair its when we rely on modern technology too much, we trust that it will look after and care for all our precious information like we would ( or should I say we should )😒

But at the end of the day its just devices with a list of instructions...and like technology... can often break down or not work as it should
 The result in this particular instance were ...for me.. awful, to say the least

Most things transferred very well ..its fair to say..

One thing that didnt  was watsapp, and for anyone that has it, you will probably realise how precious this is
'Keep in touch with the groups of people that matter the most, like your family or coworkers. With group chats, you can share messages, photos, and videos with up to 256 people at once. You can also name your group, mute or customize notifications, and more.'

When your frends and family are having a rough time a comforting message or picture or emoji can be a tower of strength... and its a perfect way to keep in touch with a funny or quirky status...
so when I realised that watsapp hadnt transferred, Initially I thought It was just a blip and I could get all messages back
No ..I soon realised that they were all gone...forever
conversation.. pics... gone...my frends gone and so av her conversations
the deep meaningful conversations had with loved ones...who are for one resaon or another no longer in our lives...
yes the pain can run very deep indeed...
one of the worst thing is chats pics etc of my beautiful frend who sadly is no longer with us..💔
so yes its true to say I was devastated, very sad, and Helpless..yes because I knew there was nothing I could do about it!!!!!💔

Assumption ...(a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof.)

we assume..its safe there...it will transfer..so dont check...so dont ask...it could be put right 
Unfortunately a life lesson I didnt want to learn.
What it has learnt me is

 back up...   back up...   and back up  

and then 

BACK UP

(any thing that is precious to you..treat it like you would anything of value....take care of it..protect it )

on that note ..dont misunderstand me...I think technology is amazing ... but i need to remember that technology is just that... and I need to remember to think for myself and ask the question!!!!!

I hope I learn from it and dont just ASSUME everything will be alright😞

Princess Diana

Unbelievable to think that its been 20 years since Diana died in that awful crash in Paris

I remember it like it was yesterday..

I woke up..flicked the TV on whilst I made a coffee..
(this was my usual routine ..I enjoyed a solitary half an hour most mornings before it would be full steam ahead...my treat.  my youngest of four was just 7 months  old..)

The screen was just full of sirens and flashing light....
Pandemonium on every screen....

I was in shock...I had always loved and admired Diana
I loved her smile..her tall lean figure..her fab dress sense...her open show of love to her children...and also her vunerability 

Its true to say I wept...and also now find myself very emotional writing this...
such a sad and tragic event ( which is fair to say affected millions all over the world...not leastly her lovly boys  )

The picture of those boys following their Mother's coffin will stay with me for ever..

So impressed with Prince William and Prince Harry at how they have kept her memory alive..
She would be so proud of  how they have grown up....( every credit to you Diana )
I will be watching the programme 'Diana, our Mother'... which is due to be screened tonight
and yes I will probably need the tissues.....
RIP Diana you beautiful Lady.... 

devastated...no more body balance

So we had the devastating news that #lesmillsbodybalance is no longer going to be available at our gym..
our group is in bits...
we absolutely love this class and have the best 2 instructors in the industry
they are both professional and passionate about what they teach
they strive to be the best they can...hence why we love them so much..
apparently due to Les mills rules our gym can not be used any more!!!
prior to this I had nothing but admiration for #Lesmills
Shame on you Les mills
    we are definitely going to have withdrawal symptoms and i dont think any amount of deep breathing is going to make us feel any better...  

Beautiful memories ...

So when unexpected things chance along and makes me sad...

especially when there is nothing I can do about them...

I find beautiful memories to make me smile....

 beautiful pics of sea caves in Cyprus 💖

troodos mountains....

Cyprus...my favourite place to date 💖

Hope they make you smile too...

old peoples care homes

so yes I am still very shocked at some of the scenes that i saw in my old job!!!
And yes there is a constant reminder with all the media attention at the moment about the state of our social services... 
the dire state of our NHS ...
which is having a profound affect on our sick and aged population
( and yes this is in the Uk !!! )
So all the money that our poor old folk ploughed into the system over the last 60/70 and 80 years has already been spent!!!  daylight robbery I'd call it and nobody to answer the crime!!!
which brings me back to my blog.....
how some ( and I know that it is NOT right across the board) of our old folk are living 
the care homes that some live in are awful to say the least, smelly, cold, boring ( and I mean by that , no stimulation, ) old people sat there staring in to space, sad, rocking, shouting for help, or just a little conversation... food down there clothes
and believe me this is just the tip of the iceberg...and a very brief description of reality...
And this is just what I witnessed...so so sad
       Dont get me wrong I Know this is not true of all care homes...believe when I say...that i went into some really lovly ones
Tables beautifully laid for lunch.....Hairdressers at the ready...our old folk doing jigsaws and playing games... smiling faces....clean sweet smelling homes....
I am not an expert and would hate to estimate which is more probable in the uk...( but I have a good idea!!!! )
But shouldnt all our old folk be treated to a nice care home with all these luxuries...
And no I dont have the answer..I wish I did....I wish I could just wave the magic wand        
And every credit to the fantastic staff...because where would our old folk be without them...and most of the staff I met in my job were lovly caring individuals 

I live in hope that one day all our care homes will be amazing places for our old folk... they deserve it

Day 2...oh my days

so my 2nd day out on the road..visiting the not so able in their homes...

my day started at 7.45 am and ended at 7.10 pm...and its probably fair to say it seemed longer!!!

my colleages are of the type...work through your lunch hour and get home earlier..
er no...actually it didnt work like that...long long day and still got the tea to do when I got back

happy days

Again an array of people....some elderley, some with dementia, some youngsters with severe mental health problems, physically disabled ...all needing a lot of care and especiallt TLC ( tender loving care ) and some so happy to see us..to chat to us

Do I really need this kind of emotional stress in my life...( like my own family dosnt stress me enough !!! 😉)

My colleagues seem to be oblivious to their problems ( i mean that in a nice way ) the optom today is the calmest, most patient person ive seen, nothing too much trouble
my other colleague said ' dont worry by next week you'll breeze through..all this will go over your head '
Do i want to breeze through...do i want to be complacent with this???
I do feel their is a need for us in the community but I dont know wether I want to be reminded of it on a regular basis...
human beings sat in the same room for days on end ..not knowing what day or even what year it is...tragic..immensly sad
and a thousand thanks to the carers who feed and sit with them every day...dealing with their needs   
and what is even more surprising is that they do it seemlessly without complaint..Godbless em
Will I stick this job??  who knows... watch this blog....

Looking back 18 months ago

Well to say things have been life changing is an understatement....

Life being the ultimate  word  or the lack of it
No less than 5 people who I knew very well.... one in particular being a very dear and beautiful frend....to say I was heart broken was an understatement, and the world is surely a poorer place without her....

Others were indeed tragic especially for those left behind...
And all were comparatively in their prime....some not even 50 years old.

How life changes.....

I chanced upon some diary entries from about 18 months ago....which would of been just after I started my new job!!
To say I was stressed, was an understatement , seemed like I was nearly over the edge....
Nervous, uncomfortable, unfamiliar, scared of making mistakes, drained,stressed,tired, just some of the words I used to describe how I was feeling.
No way did I think I would last 18 days never mind 18 months.
but true to the stubborn soul that I am...I dug my heels in and put up with a lot of s**t
And there's more...about my job to tell soon
But surprise surprise 18 months on and I'm still in the same job...how long for only God knows....
But what I do know is if I can do it, any one can....
What a difference 18 months can make......
And as they say as one door opens...so do a few more ( well thats not exactly how the saying goes )